Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Written in Blood and Collection Notices

Earth, Randomizer, Let's Go. It's time for some random whoknowswhatzits. I'll kick it off with a section from the Liquor Bikes vid "Get Some":

TOM SMITH-GET SOME from james stevens on Vimeo.

I would be remiss if I didn't point out that, not only can you get the DVD on the Liquor site, but you can pick up a 20 pack of their "ghetto coozies":

Yeah, that's right--a brown bag printed with "LIQUOR" on it, brilliantly and pridefully subverting the very reason for brown-bagging in the first place. Because really--everyone knows what's in the bag. These might give Stevil's AHTBM cüzies a run for your beer money--after all, they cost a dollar less and you get twenty! Also, it looks like they might hold a 40 oz. I supposed it's true what they say, though: "The bitterness of poor quality outlasts the sweetness of a low price." (If you're a coozie collector, as well as an ancient bastard, you may want to check out Old Man Army's can coolers as well.)

Saw this flier duct-taped to a pole. I enjoy paranoid schizophrenics as much as anyone, maybe more, so I took it home and scanned it:

"The Flyer is in Your head, Some people see the Jibberish, Every Flyer can be Every Flyer." I thought the loose nut was in my head--lately the bolt of lightning has certainly been between my legs, that's for sure. I like the cut of your jibberish, son.

More random scans. Money kitties on Yaorat Road in Bangkok's Chinatown:


A couple self-portraits from a series my ex did a long time ago...probably 9 or 10 years. The cuts say "MINE":


I guess she freaked out her photo class at State. People are so easily disturbed. They were on the verge of holding an intervention...

You know those photos that you jack online and they kick around on your desktop for months because they're too good to trash? You should immediately tell your boss to fuck off and go log on to Them Thangs for a few hours, because it's all about intriguing random images:
Plus, you know, naked ladies, bikers, artwork, and weirdness. Now go tell you boss you're sorry. Even if you're not. Now, on to the other snaps I've got hanging about my desktop:

Dean Burrito with a feet up double can can carve in Donald, Oregon. Straight to hell, boys.

Metal Bikes forever.

I think I jacked this from Bike Snob NYC. I may very well have jacked off to it as well. Clearly, there are more important things in life than proper bicycle maintenance.

How 'bout a Bob Haro bunnyhop, circa '82?

Rad, huh? While we're on the subject of Rad, how about this somewhat new tee from Poo Brand BMX?


The question is, who is radder? BMX Jesus or Skate Jesus? Can't we all just get along? (I've sort of had it in for Poo Brand lately. On the one hand, their stuff is undeniable...fuckin' old school BMX sleestaks? I'm in. On the other hand, dude makes kooked-out anti-Obama tea party bullshit, which turns my fuckin' stomach. His eBay location is "Punk Rock City," he's into Black Flag and old school SE Racing, so I'm having some cognitive dissonance here that he's a republican, or, worse yet, a teabagger. I'm torn. He did a shirt auction for Haiti, though, so maybe I can ease my Poo ban for a bit...gotta get the Eddie Fiola as sleestak tee.)

The US Department of Education sent me 26 letters AT ONCE about my defaulted student loans. Since I can't pay them, I made a billboard. I'll probably print this out and send it to them if I ever get around to giving a fuck. I got laid off twice in a year. I think the second time I was kind of fired, but since I was toiling for der Führer in what a colleague called "The Fourth Reich," I'm going to let myself off the hook for that one. So now it's the under the table shuffle and unemployment. Every day I'm hustlin'. In the words immortal of the Anti Nowhere League: "Let the country feed you."
This is how I'm spending my days. Table at the last Vander Ride. Photo by Dennis Dowling, who has way more skills with a camera and a bike than I ever will. Check the links at the bottom of his page for photos.

Nick Cave has a new book, The Death of Bunny Munro. Who knew?

How 'bout some cinematic grrrl power? Found this gem on WAY OUT! Skate Witches must die!:



This reminded me of Dave Markey's Desperate Teenage Lovedolls:


Which naturally led me down the road to Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains:

On an unrelated note (except for the witch in Skate Witches wearing a Crimson Ghost shirt), here's David Pajo, former guitarist for Slint, covering my favorite Misfits tune, "Where Eagles Dare":



I ain't no goddamned son of a bitch--you'd better think about it, baby. Let's close this shit out with a video of my homeboy Andy's band, Space Vacation (named by the one and only Frank Chu):

Let's see what we've got here: chrome pick guards, Bones rip banner, Rickenbacker bass, dude with wizard beard, spinning drumsticks in slo-mo, shotgunned beers, denim vests AND leather vests, spiked guitar straps, neck-up sex face solos, all in the service of an A-1 power ballad. Yeah yeah yeah. White girl, you can't stop the beat.

And speaking of The Rock, here are those Qui pictures I took a lifetime ago:
New freedom with a maxi!


Hugs, not drugs. Okay, hugs and drugs.



Check the guy with the earplugs, desperately trying to convince himself he's rocking with a halfhearted devil hand.



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