Freak Magnet: Fat Wheels and a Gratuitous German Scheiße Video

Six years ago, on Dec. 8 2004, Dimebag Darrell was shot four times by a paranoid schizophrenic kook. While this is obviously a tragedy--tragic enough to make an eagle cry--at least his untimely passing has inspired some of the greatest artwork since Michelangelo laid on his back and painted God:

Sorry, Michelangelo--you do come in a close second. And you had a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle named after you, so, you know--fair is fair.

Apparently D-bag Darrell was less than pleasant when accosted by my boy Kelly to buy one of our giant 666 hands at the first Ozzfest:

Not being a Pantera fan, you can't blame Kelly for approaching the superstar dirtbag with a business proposition. Anyhow, it's nothing that deserves being shot in the head over, so, Mr. Dimebag, Kelly forgives you (probably--he can be kind of a bitter dude). Here's to hoping that in stoner heaven you'll be upgraded to Eighth Bag Darrell.

I know I still need to post the second installment of Secret Sidewalk pictures, but I've got all these shots from Biketoberfest in Fairfax, so I think I'll go with that.

Being how Fairfax is the de facto birthplace of mountain biking, or at least a key ingredient in its development, there were a lot of pre-war klunker bikes, including Otis Guy's original Repack bomber:

And a veritable shitstack of gorgeously restored balloon wheelers fit to make the most discerning bike nerd drool, starting with this J.C. Higgins and Rocket:

Springer front end:

Let's get cosmic, y'all:

Firestone cruiser:

This his and hers pair was mind-blowing:

Check the bars. Wild:

Sideways seat springs:

Winged dropouts:

Head tube badges:

Wonder if Rick Moliterno knows about this?

Now that's a fuckin' crossbar:

Cadillac truss forks:

Persons stars and stripes seat:

A bunch of pre-war Schwinn DXs and the like:

This bike is amazing:

Twin top tubes, twin down tubes, center bar:

Cranks making an odd zig-zag:

Not sure what's going on with the handlebar supports here. Another wacky idea put into production. Reminds me of some of the nutball contraptions that came out in the early days of freestyle:

We crossed to the other side of the fest to drink beer and check out the more modern offerings. One of the first tents we came upon was Inglis/Retrotec, who haven't forgotten their balloon-wheel roots:

I dig the wooden fenders on this road ride:

These are Hunter forks. Sweetness. They remind me of GT Stilettos or H&H Racing Group BMX forks:

Doll got her face painted:

Woman was pro--it took like a minute:

She was happy for a bit:

Bavarian drunkards with sousaphones parade around playing drunken oompa oompa:

Been seeing a lot of these bamboo Calfee frames around SF. They're gorgeous, but I wonder how they ride and how they hold up. Can you ride one for 10 years, or do they flex out after 3?

The Rivendell tent is good if you want to lust over some really beautiful/cool shit. Love the Nitto bullmoose bars on this Bombadil:

OG Schwinn muscle bike still getting use. Dig the Fastback rear slick:

This is the look Dolly gives you when you want to drink beer and she wants to go to the free massage tent:

Annodized pink Ellsworth anyone?

Dude had a remote control for the tiger's tail:

Enzo Garcia playing the saw:

Vintage sweetness:

Of course:

Marin's new jump bike looks awesome:

I think this hideous slate gray design school refugee had a motor in it. Blech:

A few beers later, and Dolly gets her reward. It amazes me that a nine-year-old can be in such a constant, dire need of a massage. Is it really that stressful being a tween?