Saturday, October 02, 2004

If You Call It a Kid's Bike I'll Scoop Your Eyes Out with a Spoon

Just built my 20" race bike--got one of the Mongoose Pro Craig Reynolds CRX frames that are going around eBay--SM race bars, Profile stem like the Kappa, Flight cranks, Vuelta aero rims. So I cruise down to the bar with my roommate last night, and some wall-eyed hipster in a flannel shirt starts fucking with me about the "kid's bike."

"What is this?" he says. "Rad the Movie? Your bike should evolve with you," he says, "Or de-evolve as the case may be." This coming from a guy who looks like he's been doing the back stroke in the shallow end of the gene pool. I diligently ignore him, and he starts spouting about how he's got a 26" made by the guys in Austin who welded the original SE bikes.

"Oh, you mean a Fireman's Cruiser?" I ask.

He's all shocked that I know his super-secret, very evolved and adult ride. "Yeah," I say. "I've got a Kappa 26." (Even though it's in the mail...)

"I saw their 24...I didn't know they made a 26" blah blah. He starts telling me about how he always wanted to be sponsored by SE but couldn't cut the mustard. Now, who hasn't evolved in this picture? Cruisers are fine and they're a great way to get around San Francisco, but I just built a 20" so I can race along with my cruiser. Mr. Grunge Look circa 1988 has too much beer belly and not enough skills or balls to ride a "little bike" so he starts busting a stranger's nuts...

Whatever. It rubbed me the wrong way because I'd spent the last three hours building the bike--which kicks ass, by the way--I'll always have a soft spot for Mongooses, even if this one's made in Taiwan. I didn't want to hear some armchair Pabst Blue Ribbon sermon on "evolution."

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